Tagtosterone.

Ah. so this is what a blog looks like.

Anywho, I am Seana's husband, Jay.

I should explain why I'm here, I guess.

Last week, my lovely wife was tagged by her best friend to reveal 6 deep, dark, embarrassing secrets about herself. Normally, I would have no qualms about my wife divulging any secrets online, because quite a few of them would probably make me look very good... however, as part of being tagged, not only was she given the responsibility of writing down the secrets, but she was also given the charge to assign the task to 6 more poor, unsuspecting souls.

But she only gave it to one.

Me.

So here I am.

Ultra-thrilled... can you tell?

Anyway, I guess I'll start with the secrets.

1. I am a HUGE fan of professional wrestling. I've always liked it, ever since I was a little kid... not too sure why, though. Maybe because, when I was a little kid, my dad would take us to events when they came to town... we never had much money and my dad worked a lot, so I guess those times were when we got to spend some time with him. Bet you guys feel real bad about teasing me for it now, huh? Anyway, the apex of my wrestling geekiness came on October 19th, 2007 at a Ring of Honor wrestling event. I post on a message board for other nerds, err, wrestling fans and I was given the task of making a report of the events. So, yes, I took notes. Of everything. And wrote them on the website. Seana laughed at me so hard that I shredded the index cards. I still had a blast, though.

2. I was in an anti-smoking commercial. It was like, a month after 9/11 and we were at the haunted house they used to do at The Huntridge. Anyway, xposecoalition.com was there, shooting a commercial, and asked if anyone wanted to be in it. My friends and I all said sure and they put us in front of the camera... they told us to talk bad about smoking, so I made some comparison to the number of people killed on 9-11 and the number of people smoking kills every year... well the producers lost their minds, kicked everyone out of the shot and made me do it again. It was on TV eventually, and I even got recognized from it a couple times.

3. I have OCD, but only when it comes to personal hygiene. In the shower, I have a certain pattern (called "rituals" in OCD talk) in which I wash. If the pattern is disrupted at all, I have to either start over, or go back to the last stage. It's weird. When I get out of the shower, I dry off a certain way, and wear my towel a certain way until I'm in my room. Then I get dressed... socks on first. I hate being in bare feet. After I'm dressed, I put my deodorant on... this is the part that freaked Seana out at first: I MUST apply the deodorant in multiples of 5, and the number has to the same on both arms. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25... I've even gone as high as 30 or 35. I don't know why I do all this, but it works. Seana says I've never smelled bad since she's known me, so I guess I'm doing something right.

4. I was a 4-year Theater student in high school. I was in a total of 2 plays and 4 musicals over those 4 years, I was even the lead in the play my senior year. But what's even better, I earned my Letter in Theater... imagine how lame someone would look walking around with a letterman's jacket... for theater?? Anyway, I am a member of the International Thespian Society and loved every minute of it.

5. I used to soap fountains. For the uninitiated, that means that my juvenile delinquent friends and I would go around to different fountains in the valley and pour large amounts of soap into them. This may not seem that cool, but after 45 minutes and a Slurpee... there would usually be a gigantic plume of suds coming forth from the fountain. They provided for truly awesome visuals, I assure you. One time, we soaped the fountains outside of the Paris. This was our Ocean's Eleven heist. We parked in the Venetian parking garage, walked through the casino, down the Strip and to the fountains. There were 5 of us... each with 1 gallon of hand soap borrowed McCarran International Airport bathrooms, and 4 40-ounce bottles of the FINEST dish soap to use on fountains:

Crystal White Octagon

So that was 9 gallons (1,152 fluid ounces) of soapy goodness. The resulting suds avalanche was so massive that Metro had to shut down the right hand traveling lane and sweep the bubbles into the gutter for about 2 hours. Immature, yes... but it makes for a DARN fine blog story.

6. I won a Bike Rodeo in 3rd grade. Why was this my final secret? Because it's the only time in my life that I won a trophy. For all those unfamiliar with the awesomeness that is a Bike Rodeo:

Go here.

And it was just like that. Figure 8's? Check. Lame-looking helmets? In abundance. Training wheels? Heck no. Not for me. I was rocking my K-Mart bought Huffy. The judges were dazzled... in awe... amazed by my skill on my bike. They also happened to be my parents' home teacher and my scoutmaster, so there may have been a small bias. But I earned that trophy. I don't know what I did to prove that I was a better bicyclist than every other 3rd grader at Oran K. Gragson Elementary School, but on that day... I was.

Well, you all have plenty of blackmail and extortion material on me now (especially for the fountain-soaping thing... I think that may be misdemeanor vandalism, and the soap from McCarran... that could be a felony, I don't know) so I hope you're happy. I'm going to tag Bill S. Preston, Esq., Ted "Theodore" Logan, Rufus, Jane Austen, the Writers Guild of America (take that!) and... OH, Becky Parry.

Thanks, and have a nice day.