Disneyland 2009 - Return and Report Vol. 1: Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday.

"There is stupidity, there is insanity, there is complete and total disregard for ones mental health... and then there is Disneyland with a toddler"

- Ancient Jay Aivaz Proverb

Okay, so the above isn't exactly ancient... in fact, I just wrote it at... but it IS a proverb, and I'm sticking by that. It does, though, speak to a broader point: Disneyland is CRAZY, and if you dare to do it with a child... well, you're crazy too.

Hello, my name is Jay, and I'll be your tour guide over the next few days worth of blog updates regarding the Aivaz Disneyland 2009 trip.

Monday started early for us. Very early. About 6:00 a.m., actually. We all got up, got dressed, showered and fed and began our trek (walking OMH!) to the Park. It actually wasn't that bad... literally a 2-block walk... easily done in about 10 minutes. We got out of our room at 7:30 and arrived to the park at about 7:40. Getting our tickets took 10 minutes and we were at the gates at 7:50. As I was going through the pictures, I discovered something interesting: Katelyn is bi-polar. The below picture was taken at 7:52 a.m.

Katelyn is happy and ready for an exciting day of fun.

The following picture was taken at 7:55 a.m., 3 minutes after the above.

Katelyn is crying and pouting and ready to go home.

This was before we even got into the park. HOWEVER, when we did get in... we were not alone. It's like Disneyland sent out invites to their party and told everyone that there would be Twinkie Casserole for everyone.

However, all the complaining about crowds and cost and noise etc. goes right out the window when you see THIS...


...the look on your daughter's face when she sees Pinocchio up close and personal for the first time in her life.

This isn't to say that the entire day went off without a hitch; I've been to Disneyland a few times, and personally, I had never seen it as busy as it was today... there were people EVERYWHERE (Though I expect going to Disneyland expecting no crowds is like watching Twilight and expecting believeable or even passable acting) and in the afternoon we were all hot and hungry and tired. This is where living literally 2 blocks away really helps. We left Disney at 1:30 and came back to the hotel to regroup. Seana caught a nice nap while Katelyn and I unwound, grabbed some snacks and played. At 4 o'clock, we headed back to the park to finish up our plan.

THAT REMINDS ME!

A couple weeks before we left, Seana found this nifty little program called "Ridemax". What Ridemax does is use historical data about park attendance, line waits, etc. and it prepares a completely detailed, infinitely customizeable "game plan", giving you the optimal ride schedule to wait for the least amount of time possible for your Disney park visit from info like which rides you want to ride, when you want to arrive to and flee from the park, and even includes "free time" and any breaks that you request. Anywho, we decided that we would do all the possible Fantasyland rides in the morning and the New Orleans Square rides at night. We seriously rode every single Fantasyland ride between the hours of 8-11, with the longest wait being 20 minutes at Peter Pan. After lunch, an unscheduled visit (and 45-minute wait) to Pixie Hollow, our break and dinner, we were able to ride Matterhorn, Pirates and Haunted Mansion in 1 hour, with the 15-minute wait at Matterhorn being the longest. At the risk of sounding like Vince from Shamwow (minus the "tongue-kissing women of ill-repute" part) I HIGHLY (so highly that I put it in all caps!) suggest Ridemax for anyone considering a Disney trip. It's $15 dollars for a 3-month subscription and only $25 for a year-long one... a price well worth something that enables you to see everything you want to see without all that pesky waiting that goes on in Disneyland. Go to www.ridemax.com or click here to check it out for yourself.

The highlight of the day by far, however, was Katelyn's trip to Pixie Hollow. A 45-minute wait, being surrounded by obnoxious kids (including your own) while standing in the sun, whilst in the middle of a line and being bombarded by horrible fairy music would normally be a deal-breaker for me, but Seana and I kind of had to subject ourselves to that punishment knowing what lay inside of the "Hollow". Disclaimer: Katelyn loves Tinker Bell to a degree not yet seen in other normal toddlers and the joy on her face is only a smidegon of the actual intensity of the euphoria that swept across her as she entered the Hollow.

First, she met Tinker Bell's friend, Rosetta


But nothing could prepare her for what came next...


A face-to-face meeting with her "pavit", Tinker Bell.

I don't know if she thought we were lying to her or what, but Katelyn acted totally shocked to see Tink there. She froze up when she turned the corner and Tink was standing there. After a couple seconds, Katelyn squealed and ran directly to Tink, dropping her pen and autograph book in the process. Tink was so nice and cordial, even though she'd no doubt seen possibly hundreds of kids up to that point.

Note Kate's hand placement... I'd get kicked out if I tried pulling that crap.

All-in-all, today was a huge success... the meltdowns and tantrums and accidents were so seriously outweighed by the shouts and laughs and hugs and kisses that I can hardly remember the negatives.

But the best part about Disneyland??

It is more potent and effective than the highest-grade elephant tranquilizer... as I type this, Katelyn is fast asleep in her Pack 'n' Play.

Well, that's all for Disney Day 1. Stay tuned for more (hopefully shorter) updates!

- Jay